Sunday, January 9, 2011

Fear of the Unknown

This is going to be a rather short post, but since I haven't written anything in quite a few days, I felt like I needed to write something. Oh my. Time is flying by. I can't believe that I will be at full term tomorrow. Basically, that means that Trae could come safely at any time now. Of course, it is best that he stays in there a few more weeks, so we will see what he decides to do.

One thing that has kind of scared me about the last few weeks of this pregnancy is the fear of the unknown. I am a planner. I like to have a specific time and day for everything. Art is completely unlike this. He likes spur-of-the-moment events. He does not feel the need to plan anything and gets frustrated that I love to have a plan for every day. When it comes to Trae, I have no idea of what day he is going to come, much less what time. Since Art is away so much for work, this tends to worry me sometimes. What if he comes when Art is away? Will he get here in time? What am I supposed to do? Why can't I just know when it will all happen? I know that the whole thing will be a beautiful surprise. I am just trying to adjust to this method of thinking. My life will no longer be so planned once I have this little baby. I am trying to rest in the fact that God knows exactly when and He wants what is best for me. Therefore, I do not need to spend my days worrying.

Trae's second and last baby shower was last weekend. We got so many lovely things. My parents were here for the shower, which was fantastic. My parents are just wonderful. I miss them so much. When they were here, I had my very own dog walker, aka, my dad. My mom spent a lot of time helping me in the baby room, so it is finally getting somewhere! I am beginning to feel like it will be ready for him when he gets here! I will have pictures up as soon as everything gets in order.

Last night I slept like a normal person. I am hoping that was the end to my insomnia. We will see. Goodnight.

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